Star Wars Episode 7: My idea for a new trilogy

The world is buzzing about the Star Wars news, Disney owns the rights and have stated that they are going to make Star Wars: Episodes 7, 8 and 9. Best of all, George Lucas won't be heavily involved. This is either great news or terrible news.  I personally think it's great news and when they do come out, starting in 2015, I hope they play out something like this...

Star Wars Episode 7:

A  New Beginning

We start off 25 years after Return of the Jedi. We follow the path of someone new, that we've never seen before. He's around Luke's age in the original. It's a peaceful planet and universe that he lives in. There are no threats and not much hostility but enough to have an Alliance. This new hero is named Ben and he stumbles upon a video that shows a man in a hooded black cape discussing plans about some sort of invasion. He's never seen this hooded man before, but we the audience realize him to be a minion of the Empire.

He begins to investigate and discovers a sinister plot involving a faction of the Empire that had survived in hiding since the destruction of the death star and the death of the Emperor. After 25 years they have grown and under new guidance they have a plan to attack. He escapes the planet just as it is attacked and with no where to turn he decides to go to his mother.

He gets to his mother's house and uses a (key) to get in and steps inside. From another room he hears:

'Who's there?'
'Mom, it's Ben. I need your help.'
'Ben! I'm in the kitchen. Come in and tell me how I can help you.'

He walks into the kitchen and sits down. His mom isn't facing him, all we see is her from behind, hunched over a sink. We can't see above the neck. 'Mom...', Ben says. 'What wrong?', she replies as she begins to turn around, 'How can I help?' When she finishes speaking she is facing Ben and we see that she is no other than Princess Leia. She's older now, but it's her.

And Episode 7 ends there...

Star Wars Episode 8:

The Empire Strikes Again

Ben has told his mom, Leia everything. Right away she realized the Empire had returned. She tells him her story and he is shocked, not knowing any of this before. We learn that a few years after he was born his dad, Han Solo, disappeared without a trace. He's about to be told more when they hear an explosion.

The empire has attacked. They take over the city quickly and Ben and Leia are promptly captured. Before they are hauled off in a ship, they are rescued by Leia's secret bodyguards (she is a princess...) and she informs them they need to get off the planet. They find a ship and once in, the pilot asks her where they are going. She tells them they are going to find her brother.

Once they are in space they see the Empire's fleet of ships, the main ship is a gigantic, bigger than the death star and the largest space Destroyer, Mega Destroyer which is surrounded by dozens of smaller destroyers and other various ships. Ben and Leia are spotted escaping the planet but they jump into hyperspace just in the nick of time. We fade out to black and...

...fade into a desert planet that looks familiar. It's Tatooine and we see a man walking through the desert. It's windy and sand is blowing everywhere. The man is covering his face and we can't see who he is. He arrives at a building out in the desert and enters. The building is a Jedi training academy, the man is Luke Skywalker.

Luke enters a control room of sorts and speaks into a microphone. Leia is on the other end. She has just arrived and is landing as they talk. Luke is informed about the Empires rise and the three of them begin to look into it further. They eventually discover where the Empire has been hiding and together with the Alliance, Luke, Leia and Ben set out after them.

When they get there they discover how big the empire actually is. Not only is there a planet surrounded by three death stars but the entire planet is overrun and ruled by the empire. They have utilized the planet and made it into a gigantic version of a death star. They realize that the only way to destroy the Empire is to destroy the planet and the only way to do that successfully would be from it's core.

Luke realizes something and says:

'There's only one man alive who can do that.'
'Who's that?' Ben asks.
'You're father. Han.'
'But he's missing.'
'We know where he is...' Luke and Leia say in unison.

Episode 8 ends there...

Star Wars Episode 9:

Worlds Removed

We open on the Empire traveling through space and attacking and destroying various planets. With in days they have destroyed over half a dozen planets. The alliance was unprepared and were not ready for this surprise attack. Together with Leia, Luke and Ben they hatch a plan to destroy the planet. But first Luke and Ben need to go get Han.

It turns out Han got caught up in some bad business with the wrong people and the only way for Leia and Ben to survive was for him to disappear. They find Han, older but still super cool. He's been in hiding with Lando Calrissian, who was mixed up in the same bad business. After Ben and Luke explain to Han the situation, he elects to go but Lando stays behind.

On their way back to Leia, the people searching for Han discover he's back. The set out after him. When they make it back to Alliance headquarters, the Alliance are just about ready to suit up and attack. As they set off they are attacked by the people after Han. Just in the knick of time, The Millenium Falcon comes out of no where and saves the day. It's Lando!

The Alliance make their way to the Empire's planet. When they get there a long space battle begins. All three Death Stars are attacked, tie-fighters and x-wings attack each other and a whole crew of ships head towards the planet, including a ship (The Century Siren) piloted by Han with help from Ben, Luke and Leia. They race towards the planet and just before they reach the ground Hans ship shoots a weapon that starts to dig into the planet.

As they fly through this tunnel they are held off from the attack by the coverage of Alliance fighters. They race to the center while outside the battle rages amongst the Death Stars. They destroy one Death Star just as the Siren reaches the core of the planet. The Siren a bomb just as it rushes through the center, a bomb that is set to go off in 90 seconds. As they race through the other side of the planet, they send a message to the Alliance to vacate the premises. Just then the remaining Alliance fighters around the Siren are destroyed by the last two Empire fighters. Han evades them and gets them to crash into each other just as they burst through the other side of the planet.

They see the Alliance ships bursting into hyperspace, leaving a rainbow of streaks across the skyline. The Siren speeds away from the planet and from the rear window we see the planet get smaller, but then it explodes and we see the explosion spread throughout space. The remaining two Death Stars are destroyed by the shockwave and debris. And just as it is about to hit The Siren they jump into hyperspace.

Our heroes have saved the day. They have banded together again and finally defeated the Empire for good.

Episode 9 ends there...

Of course there is a whole lot more that would go on to propel the story, and it would have a more solid ending (I did just think of that a few hours ago) or at the very least a more sound ending, but the idea of having to destroy an entire planet would work as it is like the Death Star in Return of the Jedi but on a larger and more grandios style. It would be a long epic and tough space battle that would be awesome to be seen. Plus all the original cast returning to their roles and having to work together again.


That's my idea, hope you liked it... I think if the new trilogy is anything like that it would be awesome!!!!!!!!

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (88%)

Evolution Becomes Revolution

Wow! Rise of the Planet of the Apes is amazing! So much better than I ever thought possible! It may not ever be regarded as a classic like the original but in my humble opinion it is overall a better movie. Blasphemy, I'm sure some of you are saying. But let me try to explain.

In 2011 I ended up seeing Rise of the Planet of the Apes twice in the theater. I loved it that much that even though there were a ton of other things playing I wanted and needed to see it again. I loved it just as much the second time. But on both those occasions it had been a while since I had seen the original series or even the remake. Now, over the last week or two I have watched all seven Ape films in order and I tell you that Rise is better than all the sequels, the remake and could even top the original.

To begin with, the make-up and effects used to create the apes is astounding. They look so real and move so real yet at the same time they feel human and act human. Andy Serkis, the ultimate king of motion capture performance artistry, plays the lead ape, Caesar. His performance is phenomenal. He gives his character heart, emotion, pain, happiness, and a whole slew of other emotions. He walks and runs and jumps and stands like an ape; he lives and breathes the role and gives the best performance I have ever seen by anybody ever (of someone playing an animal).

John Lithgow, who has never given a bad performance, is his usual awesome self here. He steals the show from everybody else, minus the aforementioned Serkis. As well, we have the absolutely stunning  Frieda Pinto in a role, the very likeable James Franco as the lead (human), and in a small role, the man that brings gravitas to any movie Brian Cox. As a whole, the acting is far superior to any of the previous incarnations of Planet of the Apes.

Before I get to the story, which is stellar, I just want to mention the editing and the cinematography. The editing is a marvel to behold with perfect pacing, stellar transitions and not a single wasted shot. It feels fast and furious and did I mention the transitions. Zooming in and out of an eye, climbing a tree as Caesar ages; it's all awesome and not only enjoyable to watch but progresses the story perfectly. Then there is the cinematography, also stunning to look at. Beautiful lighting, perfectly captured sets and amazing vistas of San Francisco. The opening establishing shot, of trees, with the title Rise of the Planet of the Apes superimposed over it hooks you right away and somehow looks and feels like the earlier planet of the ape movies.

But, I need to talk about the story and how wonderful it is. This planet of the apes is in a sense, a modern reboot of the franchise but at the same time it is a prequel/sequel to the original film. It takes place in modern times and like the title says, it is about the rise of the apes. It forgets about the sequels, acting like they never existed. Instead we get a fresh, modern take on how the ape uprising all began. It's about science, and science gone wrong but at the same time it's about the mistreatment of others and the consequences of that. It's about love and friendship and greed and power. It's morals are the same as the original film and it ties perfectly into it.

Without being to obvious they make references to the original film over and over again and they are a joy to see and hear. The first ape we meet is named Bright Eyes (Heston's nickname in the original), the main ape is Caesar (the name used in the third film for the ape that led the uprising). In the ape sanctuary, the guard makes the apes go crazy and then uses the immortal line 'It's a madhouse, a madhouse!' It was perfect! All the apes that Caesar meets in the sanctuary are the apes that end up ruling the planet in the future. There is a quick glimpse of a television where we see a rocket take off and are told it's a manned mission to mars. Then a while later we see a newspaper heading that says the astronauts have gone missing. Utterly cool and crazy!

And then there's the immortal moment in the original Apes when Heston is finally caught and an ape touches him. For the first time he speaks, the first time any living ape has heard a man speak and he says: 'Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!' Here, as Caesar is starting to lead the uprising, as things are progressing towards an epic conclusion, Caesar comes face to face with a human who attacks him. He grabs the human's arm and is promptly told: 'Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!' And then, the first time a human ever hears an ape talk (both audience and characters) occurs when Caesar says 'No!'.

These great moments that connect to the original film make this film even better. I missed some of them when I saw Rise in the theater. I hadn't after all seen the original for a very long time. I also missed the significance of the moment of 'first speech'. So cool, so well done, thank you Rupert Wyatt! The script is so very well written and makes a lot of sense, realistically and in context with the original film.

One thing about the Ape movies is that they all have great and shocking twists of an ending. Rise of the Planet of the Apes is no exception. Just make sure you stay through the credits (not all the way to the end) if you want to see this one. It is awesome, it is shocking and it rivals the twist at the end of the first film. That's all I'll say about that.

So there you have it: A fantastic story, fantastic performances (no wooden acting here), unbelievable effects, gorgeous cinematography, perfect directing, great music, stellar editing, magically done references to the original, John Lithgow and Brian Cox, and 104 minutes of ball busting entertainment! These reasons are why I think that this film even outshines the original. It took four sequels and a remake before anyone came close to touching the magic of the first film. Wyatt and Company have done it. They exceeded my and many peoples expectations and went above and beyond what was expected. After 43 years, someone who grew up (like me) watching these films has made a perfect film, one that encapsulates everything I could have hoped for and wanted in a prequel/sequel/reboot. And if not for all the reasons I have listed, then it is for that reason alone that Rise of the Planet of the Apes is, for me, the best of the bunch.

Film Rating: 88%

Breakdown (How Rise of the Planet of the Apes scored 88%):

Production Design: 9 out of 10
Cinematography: 9 out of 10
Re-playability: 9 out of 10
Originality: 8 out of 10
Costumes:  10 out of 10
Directing: 9 out of 10
Editing: 9 out of 10
Acting: 8 out of 10
Music: 8 out of 10

Script: 9 out of 10

Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes (65%)

Rule the planet.

It's a strange thing, the memories we have of movies and how much they affected us or how much we enjoyed them. My views have changed on most of the original Planet of the Apes movies from the 60's and 70's but I didn't think my view would change when I watched the 2001 remake by Tim Burton. I hadn't seen the movie in whole since I saw it in theaters 11 years ago, but I remember being thrilled and excited and really really liking the movie, if not loving it.

Well I just watched Burton's Planet of the Apes and once again my memories have led me astray. While it's a great looking film, with one stellar performance amongst many decent performances, the movie itself is a bit of a let down and is nowhere near as thrilling as I remember. Plus the story itself is pretty weak and the screenplay even weaker.

The story is somewhat the same as the original film. Only the astronauts at the beginning (Mark Wahlberg and co.) are actually in the year 2029. Unlike the original film, where Heston's astronaut began his travels only 3 years in the future, here the 'present day' is set 28 years in the future. Wahlberg and co. are sending out and testing genetically engineered apes out in space pods and testing their abilities. One gets lost in a ion storm and Wahlberg sets out to rescue him. He gets lost too and ends up in the future on a planet run by apes.

The story diverts from the original film here by having the humans able to talk. As well, the planet they are on is not earth this time, at least as far as we know. In replacement of a ruined New York, the story moves towards a time paradox/creation aspect that comes straight out of Escape from Planet of the Apes. This is not a bad thing and it gives the film a slight original tone and a uniqueness all of its own. As with all the Ape movies (well at least the first four), the ending is downbeat and comes off as a twist. Unlike those earlier Ape movies though, the twist is heavy handed and really makes no sense (in context with the preceding movie). It is more of a 'How do we top the ending of the original? Oh I know... How about this?'  It doesn't come close and it is rather pointless.

The biggest problem with this film is the actual screenplay. Everything moves so quickly that there is no character development. Characters enter and leave and no exposition is ever given for anyone. Why have the humans talk if you aren't going to develop them? Kris Kristofferson appears in a role at the beginning; he seems cool and interesting but we never learn anything about him. Consequently, when he dies, we as the audience, could care less. The same goes for every character in this film, including Wahlberg. Without knowing anything about these people, or apes, we aren't drawn into the story and we don't care what happens to them.

And because we aren't drawn into the story we just sit back and watch as the action unfolds, the beautiful sets appear and disappear and the actors move from scene to scene. Scenes come and go at a rapid pace, events fit together too perfectly, other events and moments and characters are just forgotten. What's missing is heart, a sense of connection and a solid story; instead we are left with a spectacle of scenes that entertain by their effects rather than the story. It's a shame that a) Tim Burton was behind this and b) that although it was destined to not live up to the original that it didn't even live up to it's sequels (not including Battle for the Planet of the Apes).

There are a few good things about this film. The best thing is Tim Roth. His evil ape really is pure evil. He oozes evil out of his performance and his make up and at times you feel like you are actually watching an ape rather than a man. He's amazing in this film and no one else comes close to matching his skill. Wahlberg and Estalla Warren are bland; Michael Clarke Duncan and Helena Bonham Carter are pretty good. Paul Giamatti pulls off the second best performance as a swindling ape and is quite funny at times.

Another good thing about this film, and really how could it not be, is the ape make-up and effects. Amazing! Like I said, Roth almost becomes an ape it is so convincing. The faces on most of the apes are more believable than not and there is nary a bad make-up job to be seen (unlike some of the sequels to the original). It's not only the make-up but the performances and effects together that make the apes come alive. The way the apes move and walk and run and jump in this film is crazy. I mean seeing Tim Roth standing behind a horse and then with no cuts he jumps, more like leaps, onto the horse and rides off is astounding. These type of moments happen a lot in the film and are cool to see and add realism to an otherwise unrealistic premise.

The sets are magnificent too, with a great looking Calima and even better looking Ape city. The problem with Ape City though is that at times it is too cluttered and dark and thus it becomes very hard to see the details or design. These details and design, if more visible, would bring us into the world more than we actually are. Another thing that bothered me about Ape City was the way the apes behaved within the city. It was to human like: deodorant; luscious linens and beddings; mirrors; stores. It was like taking a city, say New York, and ape-a-sizing it. In my opinion it would have been better if they had used elements of humanity but not all of humanity's elements.

Ultimately, Burton's Planet of the Apes is a failure. Its lousy script, its miss of a twist ending and its ho hum story strongly hurt the film. The overstuffed ape city and the too quick editing don't hurt the film as much but still don't do it any favours. Tim Roth steals the picture from everybody around him and is a joy to watch. Other than that, the best things going for Planet of the Apes: The Remake is a truly wonderful score by Danny Elfman, some great looking cinematography and excellent make-up and effects.

Even though the first three sequels to the original aren't that strong, they have something that this remake does not. They are endlessly re-watchable. They never get boring. They stay fun and funny and thrilling. Unfortunately, Burton's remake doesn't; I've seen it twice now and I can safely say it's definitely worth one viewing but after the second I don't ever need to see it again.

Film Rating: 65%

Breakdown (How Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes scored 65%):

Production Design: 7 out of 10
Cinematography: 8 out of 10
Re-playability: 5 out of 10
Originality: 4 out of 10
Costumes:  7 out of 10
Directing: 6 out of 10
Editing: 6 out of 10
Acting: 8 out of 10
Music: 9 out of 10

Script: 5 out of 10

Battle for the Planet of the Apes (51%)

The final chapter in the incredible Apes saga. The most suspenseful showdown ever filmed as two civilizations battle for the right to inherit what's left of the earth!

Battle for the Planet of the Apes is the only film in the series that, up until a few hours ago, I had never fully seen. Back when I was around 15, a friend and I had rented all the Ape films and spent the night watching them. It was all going well, but then we watched Conquest and man did we hate it. Then we put on Battle and it was even worse. In fact we never made it through the whole thing.

So a few hours ago I watched the whole film from start to finish. Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, which I had believed to be a terrible movie wasn't as bad as I remembered so I had high hopes for Battle this time around. Unfortunately, Battle for the Planet of the Apes is pretty bad of a film. While it is at least watchable, it is rather sad to see the series crumble as it did here. This movie is like a TV version of Planet of the Apes; TV in execution, acting and effects. It did act as the 'pilot' for the short lived TV show so it's not really that much of a surprise, but like I said it is rather sad.

The story is told in flashback from about 150 years in the future (when the TV Show takes place I assume) and relates the story of Caesar (from Conquest) and his plight to make humans and apes live in peace and harmony together. Gorillas revolt and mutant humans attack and Caesar goes on a trek to see video footage of his parents. That's it. That's the story. All of it. It's weak and in regards to continuity with the other films, the logic is rather lacking.

For example, why does Caesar have trouble believing that he can hear and see his parents via tapes in an archive. After all he was born in a circus, in 1973, where he grew up to be just as intelligent as humans. So how come he had no knowledge of TV, tape or recording technology? Especially since he worked in an archive room of sorts in Conquest. Then there is the trek to the radiated city. How did they trek through the city without getting any radiation poisoning. And speaking of which, how did all this happen in the time span between Conquest and Battle. All apes speak now? They are all intelligent? The world is destroyed? The mutants are mutants already? All this in what, 10 years? It's illogical and rather daft.

The film itself is almost boring. As a Planet of the Apes fan it acts as slight passable entertainment but as a stand alone movie it falls apart on itself. Way to many shots of mutants crossing a dessert. Or seriously bland action. Here's how the action plays out when the mutants attack ape city. They drive towards ape city, they fire a gun, the apes fire a gun, a treehouse explodes, repeat, repeat, repeat, ad nauseam. The shots are so bland and boring and repetitive I could of swore they used the same shots more than once.

The acting is by far the worst of the whole series too. Roddy McDowall returns for the fourth time and his performance is decent but never reaches the heights he captured in either Escape or Conquest. Everyone else is ho hum to droll. It's almost as if those side characters with the wooden acting in all the past Apes films have been promoted to the leads. The acting isn't that bad but it comes pretty damn close.

The effects are weak, and other than the ape costumes, the only effect I can think of is a treehouse exploding which like I mentioned before might be the same shot reused over and over (or from different angles). The directing was bland and straight out of TV of that era. At times it feels like you are watching a Planet of the Apes version of MASH which in theory sounds like it might work but in reality it just makes you wish to be watching either of those instead. The editing is a boring cut and splice hack job with no pizzaz and for the first time the music comes of as generic and weak.

This movie really is a 'piss poor' attempt at continuing the Apes franchise. It really should have been straight to TV rather than being released on television. I really can't recommend anybody watch this except for three reasons. The first reason: you are watching the entire Planet of the Apes franchise in order and it therefore must be watched. The second reason: you've actually seen this movie before and you actually like it, or even worse, you love it! The third reason: you, like me, are a huge Planet of the Apes fan.


Film Rating: 51%

Breakdown (How Battle for the Planet of the Apes scored 51%):

Production Design: 6 out of 10
Cinematography: 5 out of 10
Re-playability: 4 out of 10
Originality: 4 out of 10
Costumes:  6 out of 10
Directing: 5 out of 10
Editing: 6 out of 10
Acting: 6 out of 10
Music: 5 out of 10

Script: 4 out of 10

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (67%)

All new! The Revolt of the apes. The most awesome spectacle in the annuals of science fiction!

I hadn't seen Conquest of the Planet of the Apes in a very long time. And even then, I had only seen it once. It must of been about fifteen years ago, on VHS, where is full of scratches and cropped to a full frame aspect ratio where I was losing almost half the picture. I hated this movie those fifteen years ago. I had found it overlong and confusing. The entire end sequence was muddled and I couldn't tell what was going on at any one moment, but more on that later.

So I just watched Conquest again and I can now say that my memories were wrong about this movie. It wasn't terrible by any stretch of the imagination, I mean it wasn't a masterpiece and it is the worst of the first four Ape movies but it is rather enjoyable, is decently made, has another terrific lead performance by Roddy McDowall and features the always likeable Ricardo Montalban.

Taking place 20 years after the events of Escape from the Planet of the Apes, the surviving ape (played by Roddy McDowall) of future apes Zira and Cornelius has secretly grown up in a circus under the loving care of Montalban. During those 20 years a mysterious virus brought from either the apes of Escape or the ship they landed in has killed off all dogs and cats. So human ingenuity made apes into pets and realizing how smart (and how much smarter they were getting) they were they started turning apes into slaves. When Montalban is caught in a lie about his ape he is killed and McDowall is forced to fend for himself. He names himself Caesar, and brings upon the uprising of the apes.

McDowall is fantastic in this film. He really has mastered the ape costume and can bring about emotion and fear through his eyes and body language better in this film than he has before. Even covered by a mask he still seems sad, angry, happy or confused when he needs to be. Montalban is his usual likeable self and the rest of the cast performs well although there are no other stand out performances here. And, of course, there are the wooden actors hired as the side characters, the ones that say only a line or two, that have become a staple of the series.

Dealing with the uprising of the apes, Conquest of the the Planet of the Apes is of course the darkest of the four movies. Lots of death and violence occur throughout the movie. But at the same time (at least in the first hour) there is lots of humour. There is an air of ominousness in the proceedings right from the opening shots that is helped by the music, which is good but lacking that extra bit of magic that Jerry Goldsmith brought to his films. The scene where Caesar picks his name is well played out and well directed. Caesar stares down his 'master' for what seems like a very long time when he picks 'the name of a king', creating a mood of foreboding, a sense of foreshadowing and an overall feeling of uneasiness.

There are other scenes too that are directed well but overall the director, J. Lee Thompson, does a passable if rushed job with the film. Things happen to fast. Caesar trains and organizes the primitive apes in much too fast a time. It seems like a matter of days before he has organized them together. Even before Montalban's character is killed, Caesar seems destined to fulfill his destiny as leader of the apes. His character, which is very sweet natured at the beginning changes much to fast and before you know it has become almost to evil. The speech delivered by McDowall at the end is amazing through and through; it's venomous and hateful and evil and a sight to see.

So as I mentioned earlier, the last time I saw this film I was confused and couldn't tell what was going on. This is what made me not like the movie for the most part. So having watched it again was I just as confused? No. Was it because I am much older? No. The reason is one hundred percent because of the size of the image. In it's full widescreen glory I was easily able to follow what was going on during the uprising. Not that much really does go on, it is rather bland and repetitive and doesn't have much in cool shots or cool moments (minus the speech mentioned earlier), but I still could tell what was happening clearly. When I watched the pan and scanned cropped version all that was left was shots of apes running and all the shots looked the same and it became a blur. It became impossible to see what was happening or even to pull you into the story. This does not happen when the image isn't cropped and therefore makes for a more enjoyable movie.

So Conquest of the Planet of the Apes is much better than I gave it credit for. I was dreading, in some ways, watching this movie again as I had some really bad memories of it but those memories have been displaced. It's a fun watch, with a fantastic performance by McDowall. It's got some excellent scenes (and some not so excellent) and a lot of great humour. The healthy cigarettes are a hoot ('Funny, now that I know these things won't kill me, I don't enjoy them.') It's fun to watch and like Beneath the Planet of the Apes the first hour is more solid than the last half hour. The final battle is a little bland and could of used more creativity in the fighting but Caesar's speech afterwards brings the picture back up a few notches.

The fourth entry in the Planet of the Apes series has turned out to be the worst of the four. But that isn't saying it's bad rather it's just not as good as the other three (it's pretty much on par with the second though). If you are a fan of the series and have liked what you have seen so far in Planet of the Apes, Beneath the Planet of the Apes and Escape from the Planet of the Apes then you will definitely like Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. It's a fun watch, darker and more ominous than the previous entries and comes off better than expected and better than it should of after four movies.

And Please!!! If you watch this movie make sure it is the widescreen edition otherwise you are just wasting your time. 


Film Rating: 67%

Breakdown (How Conquest of the Planet of the Apes scored 67%):

Production Design: 7 out of 10
Cinematography: 6 out of 10
Re-playability: 7 out of 10
Originality: 6 out of 10
Costumes:  7 out of 10
Directing: 6 out of 10
Editing: 7 out of 10
Acting: 7 out of 10
Music: 7 out of 10

Script: 7 out of 10

Escape from the Planet of the Apes (74%)

A New Generation Of Incredible Apes In The Most Exciting Suspense Film Of Them All

Ever since I first saw the Planet of the Apes movies the third one always stuck out from the rest of the sequels. I loved it and it was cemented as my favorite of the series except of course for the original. To make things even better, of all the sequels Escape from the Planet of the Apes seemed to play the most on television. And I watched it every time. It would be interrupted by commercials every ten to fifteen minutes, was missing almost half the image, and the image that I did get was scratched to shit. Yet every time I watched it I continued to love it.

Even still it has been many a few years since I had seen it last. So now having just watched Planet of the Apes and Beneath the Planet of the Apes was I ever excited to sit down and watch the next in the series; cleaned up with no scratches and no dirt and in glorious widescreen on a large flat panel TV. So how was Escape from the Planet of the Apes? Was it as good as I remembered?

I'll start of by answering that last question. It wasn't as good a film as I remembered it to be. With that said, I still rank it higher than Beneath. It's got more originality, is paced better and has a wallop of an  ending that sets up the series perfectly. Sure it's more kid friendly and the science behind the story is a lot more far fetched than before but it's put together real well and the leads are really engaging.

Escape from Planet of the Apes has Zira (Kim Hunter) and Cornelius (Roddy McDowall) having gone back in time to 1973 in Taylor's (Charlton Heston) spaceship that they found and fixed and were inside floating in space just before Taylor bushed the button and set off the bomb that destroyed the planet. It's a ridiculous concept that shouldn't really work, but it sets the right tone from the beginning and it really is one hell of a clever way to continue the series considering how the last one ended.

Hunter and McDowall, making a welcome return, are at their best here. They have the lead roles for the first time and the carry the picture perfectly. They are engaging and funny and pull off some amazing emotional feats considering there faces are covered the whole time. The rest of the cast is engaging to, with a great performance by Eric Braeden as the chief villain. The always great and charismatic Ricardo Montalban makes a small but memorable appearance. And, of course, then there is the small side characters that have a line or two of dialogue. Once again it is wooden and stilted and just plain bad, but having happened in both the previous films I've come to expect it and it's become almost part of the series charm, almost.

Don Taylor does a much better job directing Escape from the Planet of the Apes than Ted Post did for Beneath. His film flows better, and doesn't have any of those overlong scenes that plagued the second film's second half. It also doesn't have any unnecessary scenes as every scene is integral to the rest of the story. Don Taylor, together with his editor, put together a perfectly paced film that is helped considerably by the great widescreen cinematography and the excellent music by Jerry Goldmsith, who like McDowall, also makes a welcome return.

The budget for this third entry in the Planet of the Apes series is obviously lower than the last two films but the story itself lends for a lesser budget. It's set in "modern day" 1973 and it only has three ape costumes. It is unfortunate though that they couldn't spend a little bit more on that shoddy gorilla outfit in the zoo. It looks terrible and it being 1971 is not an excuse.

The story itself is much simpler and lighter than the last two entries but it still breezes by at an incredible pace. It progresses nicely, with a lot of laughs on the way, to a wallop of a conclusion that like the first two films, has stuck with me for a very long time. It really brings the story full circle, setting up events that we have already seen (in the first two movies) perfectly. And when I say the film as a whole is generally lighter than the previous entries it's ending is still rather sad and down-heartening in true Planet of the Apes Style.

Escape truly has lots going for it. It's funny; It's fun; It's got to engaging leads; It flys by in no time; It's clever story plays well into the framework that was set before it; It's got Ricardo Montalban. It's a better made, and a better scripted movie than Beneath. It's a little cheesier and a little more dated than the first two (the first especially) but it still tugs at all the right strings and hits all the right notes to make Escape from Planet of the Apes a worthy continuation to the series. And even though it's not quite as good a movie as a remember it, it still holds up well to scrutiny and still remains stronger than the second film.

Film Rating: 74%

Breakdown (How Escape from the Planet of the Apes scored 74%):

Production Design: 8 out of 10
Cinematography: 7 out of 10
Re-playability: 8 out of 10
Originality: 7 out of 10
Costumes:  7 out of 10
Directing: 7 out of 10
Editing: 7 out of 10
Acting: 7 out of 10
Music: 8 out of 10

Script: 8 out of 10

Beneath the Planet of the Apes (69%)

The bizarre world you met in "Planet of the Apes' was only the beginning... What lies beneath may be the end!

It's been a while since I last saw Beneath the Planet of the Apes, the second film in the Planet of the Apes franchise of films. The last time must of been over ten years ago but I remember it well; I remember the story and the characters; I remember the excitement and thrills; I remember the nihilistic ending; I remember it being as good as the original.

I just finished watching the sequel and all I can say is that my memory was wrong, or maybe it was just my naivety of youth that steered me wrong. While not a bad film, Beneath the Planet of the Apes is no where near as strong a film as its predecessor.  It's still a fun film though and continues the story brought forth from the first film.

Beneath starts at the end of the original film. From there a new ship is discovered to have crash landed in the desert. The sole survivor Brent, runs into Nova (the female lead from the original) and together they discover a war is about to begin between the apes and a race of mutant humans who live beneath the planet surface.

Most of the first films cast reappears in this film. Kim Hunter, Linda Harrison, Maurice Evans and Charlton Heston are all present here. Missing is Roddy McDowall (who appears in the opening scene but is then replaced by David Watson). Brent is played by James Franciscus who comes off as a great leading man and replacement for Heston. The acting by all involved is, while not award worthy, spot on and convincing and carries the picture well. Like the first film though, but to a lesser extent, the side characters tend to be wooden and bland and detract from the picture at times. But Heston, Franciscus, Hunter and Evans are great enough to forgive the wooden side characters and Harrison is absolutely stunning (even more so than the first film).

The special effects for this film are no where close to those in the first film. Sure the apes look just as good for the most part (there are a few apes in the background that look less than convincing) but the underground sets and special effects are straight out of Star Trek. When I say Star Trek, I mean the original low budget television show. This film was made in 1970 and I suppose the effects (lightning, fire, blood) are good for the time but the original had better effects and stronger make-up. There is one scene where a few apes are in a sauna. The naked bodies look like men in gorilla costumes and comes off as unintentionally funny. The faces of the apes are so convincing so it really is terrible to see shoddy body make-up in that scene. I guess what I am trying to say here is: Don't ever undress the apes again!!!

So the acting is just as good, and the effects are slightly subpar to the original so I am sure you are all wondering how this film scored such a lesser rating than the first film. The answer lies in a combination of editing, directing and story. First I'll discuss the story. The first hour of the film is really fantastic and is just as good as the original. Brent discovering the ape city, the underground ruins and the urge to get home is enthralling and thrilling to watch. But when the underground human mutants come in things go a little awry. I never used to have a problem with this but now I found it brings a level of fantasy to something that seemed almost plausible before. (A planet ruled by apes is plausible? Sure why not.) The underground human mutants then end up taking to much screen time and the apes seem left in the dust which is a shame as the sole purpose of this movie and all the movies in the series is to focus on the apes.

Which leads me to the directing and editing. Ted Post directs the first hour well and it feels like a continuation of the first film. It is edited well too and like the first film not a scene or moment is is wasted. But then when we get underground both the editing and direction falter. The effects become shoddier, the pacing slows down and the story seems to crumble under it's own weight. These in conjunction with each other are the responsibility and therefore the fault of the director.

The editing is really what drags the film down once it goes underground. I can forgive the story and the effects but not the editing. As I mentioned both the first film and the first hour of this one are perfect: perfectly paced with no scene unneeded or unwarranted  Once underground, things start to drag. There is over exposition and scenes go on way to long. The mutant church scene is a prime example of an overlong scene that could of been cut by at least half. Once underground, Beneath the Planet of the Apes starts to feel like a different (and worse of a movie).

The end of the film too, has a voice over narration that sums up the nihilistic ending. This voice over is useless, the ending while great and depressing and original is rushed and could of used a special effect rather than voice over and fade outs, but with that said it is still a solid ending that will live on in the minds of the viewer as it did me.

The music in this movie is great and just as good as the first film. Scored by Leonard Rosenman it plays well with the film and sounds just like the music from the first film, which was composed by Jerry Goldsmith. The music is so strikingly similar that it feels like they just reused the music (or that Goldsmith really scored this film too).

So there you have it. Great music, great casting, great masks, great apes. With a fantastic first hour and a weaker but still enjoyable final forty minutes, Beneath the Planet of the Apes is a great edition to the franchise. It continues the story set out from the first film, it keeps the same cast, its got action and spectacle and guns and death. It's darker than the original with another depressing and even darker ending. As a stand alone film it's not particularly worthwhile but as a sequel to Planet of the Apes it is a decent and recommended film. If you come into this film expecting greatness you will be disappointed; if you come in with low or no expectations you will be come out more than satisfied.


Film Rating: 69%

Breakdown (How Beneath the Planet of the Apes scored 69%):

Production Design: 7 out of 10
Cinematography: 7 out of 10
Re-playability: 7 out of 10
Originality: 6 out of 10
Costumes:  8 out of 10
Directing: 7 out of 10
Editing: 6 out of 10
Acting: 7 out of 10
Music: 8 out of 10

Script: 6 out of 10

The Original Planet of the Apes (85%)

***THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS***THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS***
***THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS***THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS***

Somewhere in the Universe, there must be something better than man!

I was around 13 years old when I first saw Planet of the Apes. I loved it then. It was action packed and it had talking apes; it was clever and mysterious and it had a whopper of an ending. Since then I have seen it more times than I can count. But every viewing (up until half an hour ago) was from an old faded print, one that was full of scratches and dust and that was cropped to a 1.33:1 full screen television ratio.

So for the first time in 20 years I have watched Planet of the Apes in all it's uninterrupted widescreen glory. My past viewings were missing about 40% of the picture and other than once were continually interrupted every ten to fifteen minutes with commercials. And what a pleasure it was to watch this movie, on DVD and on a hi-def screen. My memories too, have served me well. Planet of the Apes is as good as I remember it, if not better.

Three astronauts crash land on a barren planet after being in hypersleep for 2000 years. Just as they discover life, their plans are disrupted by talking apes on horseback with guns and nets and whips and sticks. They capture the leader, Taylor, played by Charlton Heston. He soon discovers that this planet he is on is the complete reverse of his earth. It is run by apes, who walk and talk and act as humans on his planet do. The humans are mute and are treated like the apes of Earth: caged and studied.

The script, based on a French novel from 1963, is pitch perfect. It not only has great dialogue, memorable and classic lines and a perfectly structured story but it moves at a breakneck pace and includes poignant and social commentary on our society that is still just as relevant today as it was back in 1968. It touches on issues of slavery, of experimenting on animals, on government and dictatorship and on what is better for the greater good, the truth or lies.

Social commentary aside, Planet of the Apes is one hell of a fun, impeccably shot science fiction yarn that not only will enthral you like it did me but has one shocking and somewhat depressing ending that has lived in infamy and is still one of the greatest endings ever in any movie. Taylor saves his hide and proves the apes wrong. He rides off into the sunset with the girl and all is well, only he stumbles upon something that is at once shocking and at the same time brilliant.

Co-written by Rod Serling of The Twilight Zone, the screenplay is full of pure Serling moments such as the ending mentioned above. It is tightly written, tightly plotted and tightly edited making every scene count and work to its advantage. The amount of classic lines that come out of this movie are amazing. Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!!! There is not a wasted scene in this movie and if you've never seen it before you will be amazed at the famous lines of dialogue that happen throughout the film.

The only weak part of this picture, and it really is the only weak link, is the acting. Everything else is just stellar. The direction is perfect. The effects (although dated) are perfect for it's time. The costumes are great, while the ape masks still look good. These masks emote and speak and move and breathe. The direction is excellent, the cinematography is gorgeous and the music, by a young Jerry Goldsmith is memorable and classic. All this works together to overcome that weak link that is the acting.

Charlton Heston is a rather wooden actor (from what I have seen). He's fun to watch, very expressionate and highly watchable. But he is slightly wooden. But Heston as Taylor is fine here, it is more so the actors that surround him. The humans don't speak and they act fine, but many of the side ape characters that do have lines sound wooden and unrealistic. Not all, but too many not to notice it. On the other hand, all the lead apes (Roddy McDowell, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans) are fantastic and bring their ape characters to life. They give great performances hidden by prosthetics and masks. So good are their performances that the apes they play become almost real. You can see the emotion in their faces, in their eyes. You can see them smile and grimace. You can see when they are happy, when they are sad and when they are scared.

Planet of the Apes is a film I can watch over and over again and in fact I have. I must of seen it at least ten times now and still every time is as enjoyable as the last. This is a movie that is fun for the whole family: mom, dad, children. It's a classic, it's immortal and it's legacy lives on even to this day. I highly recommend this film and even though you have read this I must say that the less you know about the story the better. Planet of the Apes is truly remarkable filmmaking and is truly a great way to spend two hours.


Film Rating: 85%

Breakdown (How Planet of the Apes scored 85%):

Production Design: 9 out of 10
Cinematography: 8 out of 10
Re-playability: 9 out of 10
Originality: 10 out of 10
Costumes:  8 out of 10
Directing: 8 out of 10
Editing: 8 out of 10
Acting: 7 out of 10
Music: 9 out of 10

Script: 9 out of 10

Planet of the Apes in Review

I am a huge Planet of the Apes fan. Huge I tell you!! I have been watching the movies ever since I was about 13 and still to this day love the joy and excitement they bring out in me as as they play before the eyes. Not that all the movies were good but for the most part they exhibit either the right amount of cheese or action or thrills or combination of all those things that I can undoubtedly say that I can not wait to watch and review the Planet of the Apes catalogue. 

Originally published in 1963, the French novel was subsequently translated into English, amongst other languages, and then in 1968 was turned into a movie. From there, 4 sequels followed, a short lived TV series, and an animated show. It was a while before we would see more Apes movies but after 26 years a remake finally graced the big screen. Then no more for ten years when the series was officially rebooted with Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

Now I have never read the book or seen the show (live action or animated). So I guess when I say I am a huge fan, I am referring to the big screen adaptions. And when I am referring to those I am really only referring to four of the seven films. But those four films, from what I remember are so good that they make the others passable. They have great stories and great moments and really have stood the test of time.

I look forward to watching (again) and reviewing (for the first time) all seven films over the next week or so. I have never seen the original series in widescreen, and haven't seen the remake since it came out in theatres. The original and first movie I have seen so many times I know the whole thing (almost) by memory. It's a masterful film and one that is hard to forget once seen it. The second and third films play well into the lore of the first one, but then from what I remember the fourth and fifth films are bad and worse, respectively. The remake was ok, fun but nothing special. And then there's the reboot where words can't describe how I feel about that one. 

So now it's time to re-watch the series, with a new and critical eye. In glorious widescreen, the way they were meant to be seen. Maybe I'll change my opinion on some of them. Maybe another viewing will only cement what I believe already. Either way, it should be fun for me and for you and I hope you come along for the ride....